


you'll wish that you never did

by blackboxxremedy



Series: Joaquin/Kevin [4]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Anger, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hook-Up, I promise, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Mildly Dubious Consent, Talking, Talking About the Past, and he's not sure if he really wanted to be with that guy or do stuff, and it's just mentioned anyway like there's nothing too explicit, anyway here's some real tags, but he did, i literally just made up names, like kevin and joaquin are talking about their past hook-ups and stuff and those guys come up, like there was no real rape or like serious coercion or anything, look okay basically kevin got into some stuff with a guy his freshman year, oh wait also that pisses joaquin off and he does some stuff, so now he's thinking back on it, the oc's are just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 09:26:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11437956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackboxxremedy/pseuds/blackboxxremedy
Summary: The good thing about Kevin is that he never presses Joaquin for details about his childhood or even the very recent past. Understandably, Kevin wanted to know why Joaquin joined the Serpents as young as he did, but he didn’t ask about much else. It almost made it easier for Joaquin to open up, because when he did, he felt like he wasn’t being forced to do so. And Kevin is always so patient, never asking for more than what Joaquin’s willing to give, never commenting when Joaquin mentions three separate men in one conversation about his mom… Joaquin doesn’t deserve to be treated that well sometimes, he really doesn’t. He hides so much from Kevin, but Kevin never hides anything from him.So it’s a little surprising when Kevin suddenly asks, “Did you have any boyfriends before me?”





	you'll wish that you never did

**Author's Note:**

> look don't be too afraid of this, the tags might make it sound way more intense/explicit than it really is. like i promise this is just them reflecting on the past and joaquin being protective.

The good thing about Kevin is that he never presses Joaquin for details about his childhood or even the very recent past. Understandably, Kevin wanted to know why Joaquin joined the Serpents as young as he did, but he didn’t ask about much else. It almost made it easier for Joaquin to open up, because when he did, he felt like he wasn’t being forced to do so. And Kevin is always so patient, never asking for more than what Joaquin’s willing to give, never commenting when Joaquin mentions three separate men in one conversation about his mom… Joaquin doesn’t deserve to be treated that well sometimes, he really doesn’t. He hides so much from Kevin, but Kevin never hides anything from him.

So it’s a little surprising when Kevin suddenly asks, “Did you have any boyfriends before me?”

They’re laid up in Joaquin’s bed together, and it’s getting late, the sun slipping down outside as they cuddle. Joaquin’s tucked under Kevin’s arm, warm and feeling perfectly safe and content. He looks up into Kevin’s face and sees that Kevin looks hesitant, almost like he feels bad for asking. Joaquin settles so that he can looks at his boyfriend better, hand absently moving rub Kevin’s arm in slow, gentle strokes.

“No, not really,” he says at first, but then a pair of dark brown eyes flashes into his mind. “I mean, well… not technically. There was this one guy, but I wouldn’t say we dated. Fooled around a lot, yeah, but he never called me his boyfriend or anything.”

“Did you like him?” Kevin asks, and Joaquin shrugs, trying to be casual about the whole thing even as he remembers how he used to stare at the guy in his Spanish class and would fall asleep thinking about him every night for weeks.

“I mean, a little, but I was younger then,” Joaquin answers, and it sounds ridiculous even to himself since that was only a year ago.

But he really was younger, and so much more naϊve. He was a recruit for the Serpents, still proving himself and helping out with odd jobs, and he’d never been with anyone before this guy Dylan came into the picture. It’s cliche, but he sort of taught Joaquin everything that he knows. When Joaquin met Dylan, he was a scrawny sophomore who’d only made out a handful of times with some other typical Southside closet case. After Dylan dropped Joaquin for good, he on the verge of sixteen and he knew how to handle himself, with clothes on and with them off. He was still a virgin, sure, but just barely.

“It’s okay to have liked him or to be confused about what you felt,” Kevin says gently, and Joaquin appreciates that. “I sort of had a crush on Moose last year.”

Joaquin’s not shocked by that, but he wasn’t exactly expecting that either.

“Why?” Joaquin doesn’t mean to blurt it out, and he definitely doesn’t mean to have a defensive edge to his words, but he does. He cringes, already going to apologize, but Kevin seems to be right there with him.

“Yeah, I know, that’s what I always say to myself when I think about it.” Kevin laughs, but there’s no humor in it. Joaquin cuddles up to Kevin a little more, trying to hold him better; he can tell that Kevin’s a little upset.

“I don’t know,” begins Kevin, and Joaquin draws patterns on his boyfriend’s chest, quiet and attentive. “I sort of hooked up with this guy my freshman year, but he would never be with me publicly? Like you and your guy your sophomore year, except more serious, because we ended up fucking.”

Joaquin’s up like a shot, hands bracing himself on the bed, eyes wide as saucers. “Baby, I didn’t know that Moose took-”

“No, no, not Moose. This guy was a junior at the time. The Moose thing comes later, you’ll see.” Kevin’s gently pulling Joaquin back to his chest now, hand straying to Joaquin’s hair now. “This guy’s name was Wesley, and like I said, he was a junior. I know it’s pretty obvious that I’m gay, but this was a little bit before I officially came out to everyone at school. My dad and my close friends knew, but I wasn’t exactly open about it with everyone else yet. Anyway, Wesley figured out that I was gay somehow, not like it was hard, but still, and started paying attention to me. Took me to a movie at the drive-in, paid for everything. Even held my fucking hand for about twenty minutes near the end of the movie. I felt like I was on my first real date, and I was just eating that shit up.”

“It sounds like he was okay, at least in the beginning,” Joaquin says softly, trying to show that he’s been listening.

Kevin deadpans. “That night, he took me down to the river and gave me my first kiss. And my first make out session. And my first blowjob. But not until after he’d fucked my mouth hard enough to make tear up.”

Joaquin’s stomach churns, and he can feel his pulse in his neck, but he doesn’t say anything.

“We fucked a couple of weeks later. He fucked me a few times, and then he eventually let me fuck him. He was nice about it, always used lube and condoms, never forced me to do something I explicitly said I didn’t want to do. But looking back, I’m not sure if I really wanted it. Moose was a nice distraction after that, because he hadn’t done anything to hurt me yet.”

Joaquin clings to Kevin, strokes Kevin’s cheek. “You wanted that guy, not Moose,” he says softly, and he can feel his own heart breaking. Dylan may not have been a great guy in hindsight, but he never did shit like that. Joaquin’s seen pictures of Kevin from his freshman year, can imagine him with his baby face and his dorky little plaid shirts glowing under the attention of someone who was basically a fucking child predator. It makes him even sicker than he was before.

He also wants to put his hands around Wesley’s fucking throat.

“That’s fucked up,” Joaquin says suddenly, menacing even to himself. Kevin looks down at him, a little surprised, but Joaquin thinks he sees some gratitude behind his eyes. Mostly, though, Joaquin sees pain, and that makes him feel like he’s been hit by a car.

“It’s okay, I’ve been getting it over it recently,” Kevin says, and Joaquin recognizes that as half-truth, but he lets it slide. “You’ve been a big help, and this school year is being really kind to me.”

And Joaquin knows that it is. Kevin’s on the leadership committee for Student Council, and he’s getting A’s in all of his advanced courses without so much as breaking a sweat.

God, he fucking loves Kevin and all the dorky goody two-shoes shit that he does.

“Does that Wesley kid still go to your school?” Joaquin asks, apropos of nothing, but Kevin doesn’t seem to be phased.

“Yeah, of course. He’s a senior and he still does track pretty hardcore.”

“Well he can shove his cleats up his ass,” Joaquin says softly, and Kevin laughs a little. Joaquin starts kissing on him, his mouth, his jaw, his neck. Kevin makes soft, happy noises, practically melting into the mattress just like Joaquin wanted.

They make out, and the conversation about old not-boyfriends is almost completely forgotten. Almost.

\---

It was almost shamefully easy for Joaquin to track this asshole Wesley’s movements. The guy’s Instagram is public and plastered with practically everything the dickhead does, and it’s not like Riverdale High’s track practice schedule is privileged information. Anyone with internet access can look the shit up, and it’s basically an open campus, because, you know- this is the North Side. Bad shit never happens to the average teenaged fuckhead on the North Side, even when they actually deserve it.

In short, Wesley ends up with three slashed tires, a broken nose, and a gash on his forehead that’s guaranteed to leave a permanent dent in his pretty-boy image. Joaquin was nowhere near the area, of course, and he never hears anything about it in the papers, either. He’s pretty sure that that last part was Betty’s doing, but hey, he’s not about to ask questions.

Kevin doesn’t ask any questions either, but he gives Joaquin a long hug the afternoon that the gossip about Wesley starts circulating at Riverdale High. Joaquin just hugged him back, thinking that as long as he was alive, no one was going to fuck with Kevin or Kevin’s body ever again.


End file.
